Love, Friendship, and the Sacred
Part 2 of our Queer Catholic Joy Series
What does it mean to live in joy as a queer Catholic?
To this day, the dominant narrative around LGBTQ+ Catholics has centered on exclusion and suffering, on the real losses that we experience of families, friends, and faith communities. These realities are painfully true—and urgently important—but they’re not the full story. In the midst of the Church’s contradictions and silences, queer Catholics have continued to love, to hope, and to find God not in spite of their identities, but because of and through them.
This second installment of our Queer Catholic Joy series highlights three powerful voices who each embody that truth in distinct ways.
Sr. Jeannine Gramick, co-founder of New Ways Ministry, reflects on the peace and trust she’s found in God’s unconditional love for LGBTQ people. Simon Kent Fung, creator of the Dear Alana podcast, shares the joy of queer friendship and the spiritual power of reuniting with those we once hid our true selves from. And musician and theology teacher Jessica Gerhardt--a guest on our latest Whiplash episode--speaks about the grace of marrying her partner in the Church and the holiness of being fully seen and celebrated.
Together, these reflections offer a fuller, more radiant picture of Catholic life—one where queer joy is not the exception, but essential to our divinity.
Sister Jeannine Gramick
First up is Sister Jeannine Gramick, a Catholic nun and co-founder of New Ways Ministry, a social justice organization based in Maryland that advocates for LGBTQ+ inclusion in the Catholic Church. For over four decades, she has worked to build bridges between queer Catholics and the Church through education, pastoral care, and public witness. Her pioneering ministry has made her a leading voice for compassion, justice, and reconciliation, and an advocate questioning Church contraditions about gender and sexuality from inside it.
For Sr. Jeannine, queer Catholic joy is the deep peace of knowing you are fully loved by God. She writes about the sacred reassurance that God delights in us—especially in our humanity, our imperfections, and our longing to love and be loved. Queer Catholic joy, for her, is resting in the truth that nothing can erase that divine embrace.
To me, the greatest Catholic joy in my life is knowing that I am loved by God. It brings me peace when I am plagued by insecurities and fears about what others think of me. I feel great delight in knowing that God trusts me and gives me the freedom to live my life as I think best. Knowing that I am loved by God is really all that truly matters.
I believe that queer Catholic joy is basically the same. That is, queer Catholic joy is the simple conviction that God loves queer Catholics as they are, for who they are. God knows the rejection, the confusion, and the "down in the dumps moments" that queer Catholics have faced. God smooths those ruffled feathers and says (as God said to Jesus at his baptism by John in the Jordan River), "You are my beloved, in whom I am well pleased."
Queer Catholic joy is knowing that making mistakes is simply human and will never erase God's love. Queer Catholic joy is knowing that God wants my body and soul to be one, resting in God's embrace. God has faith in queer Catholics to live their lives as best they can. And this is part of queer Catholic joy.
So, at our deepest level, people are all the same. LGBTQ or not. Catholic or not. All human beings want to be loved. As the Psalmist says: God, who "knows when I sit and when I stand" (Psalm 139:2) infinitely loves each of us. With God's arms wrapped tenderly around queer Catholics, they can feel queer Catholic joy.
Simon Kent Fung
Simon Kent Fung is the creator and host of Dear Alana, the award-winning podcast named one of the best of the year by Apple, KQED, and Lifehacker. With a background in documentary film and over 15 years as a design leader in tech and media (including at Google, TIME, and Patreon), Simon brings a deeply personal and artful lens to stories of faith, identity, and belonging. His work has earned multiple accolades, including Ambie, Anthem, and Signal Awards.
Simon reflects on how queer joy can emerge in the most ordinary of moments—like meals with old friends. He describes the quiet liberation of reconnecting with people who once shared the silence and separation of the closet, and the way honesty with ourselves can become an invitation for others to live more freely too. In those shared stories and sacred reunions, God’s presence is unmistakable. We spoke to Simon about Dear Alana on the podcast here.
My name is Simon Kent Fung, my pronouns are he/him, and here's what queer Catholic joy means to me. For me, maybe queer Catholic joy is just being able to meet up with friends who were all very super closeted around each other earlier in our lives and, being able to have a meal together and just kind of catch up and share where your life has been and what adventures you've been on.
Just discovering how in so many separate ways we grew more comfortable with ourselves and, in many ways deepened our sense of God and spirituality. And so that journey from feeling so alone and isolated and having to put up a front and pretend and perform, you know, to coming back together as people that are older and having a more honest conversation about who we are, there’s so much freedom and joy in that.
I remember many of these meals. And what's interesting is that some of these friends aren't even gay. I think there's something so liberating about being honest, that kind of gives others permission to do the same. And I think that some of the most special and meaningful moments in life are those reunions with friends.
Jessica Gerhardt
Jessica Gerhardt is a queer Catholic singer-songwriter from Los Angeles whose music blends intimate folk and anthemic indie rock with a contemplative spiritual edge. Her debut album, Alight Beyond the Sea, inspired by Psalm 139, explores themes of authenticity, sorrow, and divine presence. In addition to her work as a musician, Jessica is a theology teacher and co-founder of the arts collective Parnassus & Co. We recently featured her in an episode of the podcast as well as an essay summarizing the themes of the podcast.
Jessica shares the joy of receiving the sacrament of marriage as a queer person in a Catholic Church, surrounded by friends, family, and allies. Her reflection celebrates the fullness of queer love and Catholic faith coexisting—not in tension, but in harmony, and the potential and power of the Church recognizing her and her partner’s love for one another as holy. For her, queer joy is found in sacred vows, communal celebration, and the grace of being seen as whole.
I'm Jessica Gerhardt, and my pronouns are she/her. And my queer joy is getting to have married my partner in the Catholic church and getting to call them my spouse now and receiving that sacrament together surrounded by so many friends and allies and loved ones who celebrated our faith and our spirituality and our love and our queerness.
Queer Catholic Joy: Rooted in God’s Unconditional Love and Community
These reflections from Sr. Jeannine Gramick, Simon Kent Fung, and Jessica Gerhardt invite us to reconsider what it means to experience joy within the often-complicated reality of being queer and Catholic. Joy here is not a fleeting feeling or superficial happiness although it can like all emotions ebb and flow. Instead, it is a profound, enduring grace that arises from fullyknowning that you are loved authentically by God. It is a joy that persists even in the face of rejection, doubt, and the Church’s ongoing struggles with inclusion. It is a belief and faith in the truth of God’s love for queer and trans children.
Sr. Jeannine reminds us that at the heart of queer Catholic joy is the unwavering conviction of God’s love—a love that holds us tenderly through our mistakes, fears, and insecurities. Simon’s reflections show us how joy is woven through the reclaiming of community and authentic connection, where the barriers of silence and shame fall away, making space for freedom and spiritual growth. Jessica’s story reveals the sacredness of embodied love and belonging, celebrating the beauty of sacramental union as a testament to faith, identity, and hope.
Together, these voices illuminate how queer Catholic joy is both deeply personal and inherently communal. It challenges the narratives of “only” pain by testifying to resilience, healing, and the flourishing that is possible when queer identities are embraced as integral to God’s creation. This joy does not erase struggle or erase the very real wounds inflicted by exclusion and misunderstanding—but it offers a vision of wholeness that refuses to be silenced, and an accountability that we as queer and trans people deserve good, full lives just like anyone else.
As this series continues through Pride Month, we invite you to lean into this joy—not as an escape, but as a revolutionary act of faith. To hold joy alongside pain, to celebrate it alongside lament, is to participate in Catholic life and spirituality. Queer Catholic joy becomes a witness to the Gospel’s radical promise: that all are beloved, all are called, and all have a place in the Body of Christ.
May these stories inspire you to recognize and cultivate joy in your own life, and may they strengthen our collective hope for a Church that truly celebrates the fullness of God’s diverse and beautiful people.
This is the second entry in our Queer Catholic Joy series. Please join us each Sunday in June for our next personal testimony, and for every Sunday throughout Pride Month.
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