If you are a member of the LGBTQ community, chances are you know what it’s like to perform emotional labor for the straight, cis-gender community. Most of the time, it’s a form of “outrage porn;” the pure, toxic clickbait of marginalized suffering. Queer people become props for liberals and progressives to say “See!! Look how much pain they’re in” without understanding that by continually casting us in that role, they actively define us by our suffering and leave no room for our considerable diversity–and joy.
No community is a monolith, because, (despite all of our efforts to the contrary), humans are incredibly changeable beings (Be-ings, not Do-ings). At mass, Catholics profess a creed that skims the historical details with a rote monotony lacking in the big messy fire of the holy spirit, because even when we say “the right words” at the right time and we’ve checked off every box we’re supposed to check off, we still mess up. We still sin. We’re not “perfect.” We are part of the messy whole.
The pain myself and others experience in the LGBTQ community is very real, as is the discrimination, prejudice, and hatred, even when it is cloaked in the language of “love.” We experience moral injury when the church uses the language of “love” and “welcome” while actively keeping us at an arm’s length, making it difficult to participate in the life of the church like any other Catholic, and using language in official church teaching that causes some to justify conversion therapy and other dangerous practices.
But we are not just our pain.
Queer people of faith are some of the strongest and most resilient people you will meet (even though we shouldn’t have to be). Yes, we have been through experiences of ostracization and rejection that have caused deep emotional harm and trauma. But our existence is also one of immensely powerful joy: the joy of actually managing to bloom within such a polluted and hostile world. The joy of waking up in the morning and feeling comfortable in your body, of being in love, and of sharing who we are with our community.
Dignitas Infinita is just the most recent example of the church demonstrating a willful ignorance towards the LGBTQ community–unwilling to even get the basic terminology right. Fr. James Martin rightfully points out the importance of the church reiterating its condemnation of violence against LGBTQ people in this document, but the problem continues to be the inadequate way of talking about the community and frankly lack of scientific acknowledgement.
Regarding the language, using outdated or incorrect terminology allows some lay people to continue to justify archaic, barbaric practices such as conversion therapy (check out the research and listen to your pick of first hand accounts to confirm that it truly is a form of violence).
Hearing the same church that calls for violence to be avoided also use the same language as people who are violent feels deeply unjust (in fact it’s another type of moral injury). Even when not tinged with violence, that terminology often shows up in the vocabulary of people who hope to discredit the LGBTQ community and remove our social and legal protections, making us less safe overall while removing our access to services and care.
But all of this is old news. Transgender people are not a shiny new fad—don’t believe the right wing propaganda grifters. We’ve been here forever. While the theologians have remained stubbornly stuck on the old terminology, transgender people have been sharing the beauty of our authentic selves with the community. It’s time to stop shielding the church from what is not only widely known scientific agreement but also socially understood as basic respect. We are clearly at the point where we should be quickly shutting down and shaming people who are comfortable with public displays of queerphobia.
In his coverage, Fr. Thomas Reese pointed out “There are too many historical examples of church authorities siding with the powerful against the weak, ignoring the rights of Indigenous people and violating religious freedom of non-Catholics.” We must see the connection to the LGBTQ community as well, not just because of intersectionality (all marginalized identities intrinsically overlap, so these historical examples sting even more deeply) but also to avoid continuing to side with the powerful loud grifters and outrage farmers who make it difficult for the average trans person to access the healthcare we need.
Additionally, transgender people should not have to read what amounts to dog whistles in official church communications if we are actually expected to feel safe and welcome in church. And, when upsetting documents like Dignitas Infinita come out, our community should not be expected to either do the leg work of educating everyone else or expected to feign shock that the church is continuing to stumble on outdated information. These are missed opportunities to meet the Holy Spirit in this present moment.
There is no doubt that there is power in tears. And the tears are real, too. It really does hurt trans people when documents like this come out. We now need to call on the church to step into the 21st century understanding of biological diversity and allow that understanding to enrich our faith–not challenge it. When we know better, we do better, and it’s time to grow together.
You are speaking clearly and I am listening!
"We now need to call on the church to step into the 21st century understanding of biological diversity and allow that understanding to enrich our faith–not challenge it. When we know better, we do better, and it’s time to grow together."